Chapter 2.12 : What now ...

What happens when the only thing that keeps you alive is lost?

What now should one react?

What now should one say?

What now should one feel?

What now should one do?

What now can one do?

A hole, an endless dark hole has been planted in me.

It draws my strength,

my emotions,

my reason,

my will,

my life.

What's there to live for now when what I needed has left?

I can't move

I can't read,

I can't think,

I can't feel,

I can't do this anymore.

It burns, so deep that it numbs.

It aches, so painful that it paralyzes.

It grips, so hard that it holds.

It clouds, so thick that it veils.

It stays, so long that it lives.

It grows, so strong that it overwhelms.

What now ... what else can I do ...

Chapter 8.0 : Horns of War ...

As I knelt before the Light in our dim-lit alter,

I made a silent prayer to the one whom we call father.

To give me strength to leave my love to fight what ever that befalls us,

to protect those whom we cherish and keep them safe we must.

I adjusted my hands back into Faith as I rose to my feet.

Adjusting my light robes as it glittered in the waning light .

Flinging my cape back with home embroidered gloriously in pure white.

Bending over to return Hope from the ice cold floor from where it laid.

A kindred soul passed it to me,

with a smile that lifts all forms of misery.

As my vision extended to the foreground,

I realized that I have found my reason.

A lover that understands me thoroughly,

and took my heart to eternity.

I have found a meaning for this reason,

to stand and fight off this senseless treason.

Slamming on my knees to catch a hug,

I caught a young life so delicate to touch.

He held me tight with his weaking arms,

trembling furiously as those crystal tears rolled past those tender cheeks.

I held his innocent face in between my hands,

and looked right into a heart of a man.

A promise, a smile, a kiss we shared,

as he slowly understood where we stand.

Embracing a hold that we deeply desired,

I rose to hold on to the love that we both inspired.

I held on to her heart, her love, her soul,

as we embraced each other with a firm hold.

We looked deep into each others eyes for a moment,

and realized that reality is something that cannot be avoided.

I took in her scent, her touch and her love for one last time,

holding on to whatever that's left and kept in deep into my mind.

Taking one last look at the ones that I hold dear,

settling down my heart as it drew tears.

A silent promise to make it back here,

to abolish and hold the ones away from fear.

Brushing the dark brown door open as the Horns of war sounded,

echoing through the hollow alleys of the City.

With a deep breathe I turned back with my warmest smile,

and left for war to face the endless vile.

Chapter 2.11 : Stupid ...

My mind's clouded with so much thoughts that it is overwhelming.

The constant barking of the people around me is just plain irritating.

Standing here at this very moment makes me feel right below.

But there is no way I can find to ripe off what I have sowed.

Just standing here makes me feel stupid while I waste my already short time limit.

They're presence slowly but surely unwinds my tightly sealed knowledge vault.

A cloud of tiredness hover all day around my weary mind.

But it is at this very moment that I notice that I might have become one of them.

I am always looking forward to the end of the day.

Looking forward to the end of this misery business and delay.

Dreaming for that hopeful day that I would awake from this dreadful nightmare.

Yearning for the moment to recover my sense from this foul dense air.

Chapter 6.32 : Forgo ...

The sky darkens as the hungry clouds swallow the glittering stars.

The fallen autumn leaves scatter like fireflies dancing through the night sky.

The scent of death linger in the ice cold wind that pierce through my body.

The Earth grumbles inconsistently as it tears its self apart.

The tears fall heavily from the concealed black sky.

Heaven's wrath roared through the sky as it illuminates how belittle we beings are.

A freezing thick fog encased the land into a blur.

Shadow s slipping from one corner to another with a hidden agenda.

Cleansed by the sea of tears,

noise being shut out, 

thoughts being blocked from the curious,

feelings being concealed from the unwelcomed.

It is at this state that one must learn,

to adapt and resist what one truly yearns.

Holding on to something and not letting go,

is something that we must eventually forgo.

Chapter 2.10 : How did we get here ...

Within this hour that we have been here,

I can see the future that is hard to peer.

An image so deep that it sears,

one could only look hopelessly in fear.

How did we get here?

This situation that we have now,

is something that is holding me down.

How I wish that I could shake this off,

but I have no power left to resist this wrath.

How did we get here?

There is no one here that I can trust,

for there is no bonds that can ever last.

There is no one that I dare rely on,

for they are merely ready to pawn.

How did we get here?

The air is very cold despite our usual runs,

there is no warmth left in the Sun.

The atmosphere is dry and suffocating,

though I wished it was always raining.

How did we get here?

Moves and skills that moves in the shadows,

blinding all those that follows.

Various banners that hang in the heavy winds,

following the echoing of the furious war drum beats.

How did we get here?

Senseless influence ordered by the imperial,

treating us like toys from a breakfast cereal.

Weak in knowledge and professionalism,

demanding respect that one does not deserve.

How did we get here?

How can the world be so heartless and low,

are we not suppose to rip what we sow?

How can anyone take this torment,

I guess that is no reason left to comment.

How did we get here?

Now is not the time to falter,

though I know that I cannot take this any longer.

For the people around me that I care most,

I have to keep my mask on and conceal what I have lost.

How did we get here?

Chapter 2.9 : It is a cold night this day ...

As I lay upon the dampened green meadows on the isolated hill top,

I caught sight of something so beautiful that no cloud could block.

The sky was clear and deep with drakness,

the land was silent and still with no witness.

The lonely Moon glowed sadly in the Heavens,

the stars glittered gently like a falling nickle.

The air was heavy and stealth with fog,

the wind was fast and cold as it whistles through the hollow logs.

It is a cold night this day, very cold ...

Where were the days when the Sun showed up in the sky,

to dry the tears of all that had cried.

Where were the clouds that rolled freely up in the sky,

to shade our faces that would run dry.

Where were the birds that flew up the in the sky,

to sing, to dance, to beautify the sky.

Where were you when I needed you most,

to know that I could never again hold you close.

The cold wind pierced right through my body,

causing numb and sorrow whenever I am lonely.

The cold wind pierced right through my heart,

causing me pain like a thousand paper cuts.

The cold wind pierced right through my soul,

causing me to ponder if I should go.

The cold wind pierced right through my life,

causing me to doubt whether I could ever survive.

It is a cold night this day, very cold ...

Chapter 1.4 : Is it just an excuse to stay close to you ...

From different worlds we have to meet,

maybe it's destiny or just plain fate.

Though at first we repel like-liked poles,

but as the sands of time slip down the hourglass,

everything changes ...

When my world turned pitch black,

you brought light that illuminated the dark.

When my fears get the better of me,

you gave me courage to persevere.

When my painful past comes haunting me,

you stood by me, assuring me that everything will be alright.

When my heart turns cold by the bitter winds of the silent night,

you held me tight, keeping me warm in the arms of  your delicate heart.

And now it is time to face the facts,

that there are thing in this world that we cannot sack.

What we had is something special,

something that I will always treasure.

An unspoken feeling that binds us as one,

but somehow we cannot stop what we have already begun.

I would follow you around the outer blocks,

just to make sure that you do not fall.

I would listen to all the hidden gossips,

just to make sure that you will not be harmed.

I would peep through that tiny window,

just to make sure that you are feeling well.

I would jump through hoops and leap over fences,

just to make sure that you are near.

Maybe it is because I want to see you safe,

or is it just an excuse to stay close to you?

The current situation is clear to thee,

that we are bound by love that creates no unfortunate scene.

Confession is something that we cannot do,

for this fragile connection might come through.

In need of your presence in my life,

we had no other choice but to lie.

To know that you are safe and sound,

to know that you will always be there right next to me.

Chapter 1.3 : Nothing more from above ...

Awakened by the gentle rays of the Sun,

there you are laying next to me.

Your sweet smile upon your angelic face,

leaves me no other choice but to stay.

Those silky long hair that lay in a file,

though messy and all I like your style.

I could lay all day just looking at you sleep,

maybe you were taking silent but harmless peeps.

As you slowly open those watery eyes,

and release that heavenly smile.

I can't help but to nudge you close,

till our vision narrowed eye to eye.

As our hearts races by the second,

our urge to hold has soon turned to touch.

Our breathe grew deep and warm,

kindling a feeling that is so dangerously pure.

Though our minds might slow the link,

but our hearts were in perfect sync.

As our vision slowly gave way to our skin,

and so our lips have sinned.

A feeling so raw that I could only give in,

maybe I didn't even want to to be seen.

Make this very moment last forever,

then I shall ask nothing more from above.

Chapter 2.8 : Grief ...

Grief, an emotion that reveals one's most vulnerable spot.

A world suddenly turned upside down.

A feeling of weakness that numbs the mind.

A vision so pain that it stops time right in its tracks.

A sense of hopelessness that seals the very soul.

A pain felt so deep within.

Like the leaves being swept by an Autumn breeze,

loosing all emotions and cherished dreams.

Drifting with the wind as it blows,

leaping forward as one rustles the Earth.

Floating on the endless streams,

drowning in the sea of dreams.

There's nothing left to wake up for,

nothing to fight for,

nothing to feel for,

nothing to sing for,

nothing to reach for,

nothing to live for.

And there you are,

lost,

down,

weak,

alone,

and in pain ...

There will be no one there for you,

no one to encourage you,

no one to talk to you,

no one to embrace you,

no one to save you,

no one but you.

Why can't we just shake it off the sand in the wind.

Why can't we just swallow it like they were food.

Why can't we just look the other way just like that.

Why can't we just jump off this train of despair.

Why can't we just reject this unfair reality.

Why can't we forget about the pain that you have felt.

Why ...

Chapter 6.31 : Lucky ...

Everybody has a greed,

to slave endless hours just to feed.

Whether it is what we truly need,

or just to sow our pleasure's seed.

But yet we forget throughout those years,

the times we spent, the sweat and tears.

That the ones we loved are just so dear,

with that in mind our thoughts are clear.

Have you seen the faces in the sky?

They wave hello and bids goodbye!

Have you really felt the wind in your hair?

The whispering of joy is in the air!

Have you seen your partner missing you?

It takes more then just 'I love you!'

Have you seen the tears of you children?

Where they are lost without you here !

These simple things are all within sight,

and yet you chose to reject the signs.

And one day when you are all alone,

there will be no one with you to bear the cold.

What is the point of earning more then you need,

when you do not have anyone to share it with?

What more prove do you need to see, 

that you are already so lucky?

Chapter 6.30 : One day we shall all be free ...

In the early hours of the night,

we came across a sightless fright.

That cannot be negated by our might,

but to fall into the open arms of blight.

The thought of it just fills my head,

with pain and sorrow and all that's dread.

Over time it is clear that we have bled,

too late for any other regret.

It's presence stills the howling wind,

silencing all that cause a din.

Those blood-shot eyes that pricks like a pin,

dividing all from their kin.

A sinister smile it flashes around, 

for reasons that are too profound.

Sharp screeching voices that it hounds,

with no chance to escape we are bound.

A touch so cold that it bites,

chilling senses blinding sight.

With orders as our only guide,

only to wish that we could take flight.

In such dark times we turn to thee,

with a dire hope and a silent plea.

That this darkness seize its spree, 

and one day we shall all be free.

Chapter 7.0 : Staring deep ...

Look at the sky now,

isn't it beautiful,

wondering where's my love's to be found.

The Moon glows of pale white,

and stars fall from twilight,

if only you were by my side.

I had my questions,

I had my dreams,

I wished life's as sweet as ice cream.

But there you were,

staring deep,

staring deep into my keep.

How do you open,

these feelings so deep,

ever trying to break free. 

How do you answer,

the questions of life,

when i've found my paradise.

I had my questions,

I had my dreams,

I wished life's as sweet as ice cream.

But there you were,

staring deep,

staring deep into my keep.

Now I found my reason why,

to hold your hand and turn back time.

How i'd wish that this is real,

to steal your heart and make you feel.

I had my questions,

I had my dreams,

I wished life's as sweet as ice cream.

But there you were,

staring deep,

staring deep into my keep.

Chapter 2.7 : To be left alone in this endless dark ...

Today is the time to make up my mind,

to search for a reason is something to find.

How could someone forget someone like you,

like the Sun that would never meet the Moon.

We tug and pull these strings all day,

denying the price that we should pay.

Lingering in the ruins of our past feelings,

trying to forget all our awful dealings.

When times go rough we stuck like glue,

and showed the others who is the fool.

Staying close when hell broke loose,

ensuring that none of us are on a noose.

Pain melts like snow in the Sun,

with you around it seems so fun.

Sorrows drown right into the deep,

forget the reasons that we should have heed.

Find me a reason for this reckless decision,

for I seek no fault in this treason.

To forget someone that stole my heart,

to be left alone in this endless dark.

Chapter 6.29 : Like having the same dream all over again ...

As the Sun rose from the far horizon,

so does the happy days that come to a conclusion.

Like a reluctant child in a candy shop,

I know this day I must not flop.

Meeting new faces once again,

like having the same dream all over again.

But time has once again brought us light,

for it has bonded us ever so tight.

Life has turned from white to grey,

like a river stained by a bloody blade.

Like honey dripping from its giant comb,

it feels like we have once again reached home.

Through terror and fear we have all seen,

but together as one we eventually become keen.

From the darkness of night we found our light,

shared equally among all like a senseless blight.

Here at last we stand again,

the last push forward past all despair.

Fearing no mountain that is too high,

knowing that they are all standing by.

Chapter 6.28 : Does this mean that we were wrong ...

When all is already said and done,

what more could thee put up front.

A hidden grin behind those tears,

or a darker self that one does fear.

Days and weeks we meet and greet,

by force or will we shall not speak.

Truth or deception one shall leak,

but what do we truly seek?

Is it the attention that one does need?

To shroud the past that hurts too deep.

Is it the power that one does greed?

To prey on others that they call weak.

Friends that bond had shed their gones,

so does everyone that moan their lawns.

Does this mean that we were wrong,

to include them all into this song?

Chapter 6.27 : Winter chill ...

Winter blows slowly into the still night,

painting the lonely mountains in pure white.

As snow owls take their flight,

feel the chill of these winter night.

Howls of sorrow echos from the deep,

while fearsome grizzles rest peacefully in their keep.

Snow white hares roam with ease,

while vicious felines hide within.

The cold fades while the blazing Sun rises,

removing off nature's guise.

As birds sing their songs of bitter sweet,

snowman fades with a silent weep.