Chapter 2.17 : Trying to know you a little less ...

A fateful day tied an unseen bond between us,
something that would hold us until we turn into dust.
So true we were in each others trust,
able share what's hidden behind each others mask.

In need we aid each other as we can,
if given a choice we might even hold hands.
Setting aside all other mere plans,
sending out my most trusted old friend.

Who would have thought that was the day,
where my skies would turn into a darker shade of grey.
When logic crosses path with reality,
driving me into a trace of insanity.

Disguised your intentions with an open smile,
making us walked in circles for a thousand miles.
Cutting the lines where we could dial,
drying the water in the Nile.

Like a puppeteer toying around with his dolls,
against my will I shall be made to fall.
Robbed the treasures from my hidden safe,
vanishing into thin air without a trace.

Startled by your increasing lies,
gambling our trust on a losing dice.
Marked a new bond that was said to be stronger,
replaced by the very person that I knew longer.

It's funny how you preach your weakness,
but what others feel you fail to witness.
Setting aside every other concern,
everything but your own mission.

A trail of blood you leave as you pass,
left for others to clear up your mess.
Piling up your actions into a mass,
trying to know you a little less ...

Chapter 3.4 : Drowning in your dreams ...

All you do is talk and talk. But you've yet to walk the walk.

You might have wisdom and power, but all you've been is a dreamer.
You've poisoned the very roots with your own failures, then waved it off like nothing ever happened.
You chose to full-fill your childish past, leaving your wavering future in the dust.
You paint your world with the blood of your people, but you are too blind to see the ripples.

What's wrong with doing things twice, will doing it once make me the wise?
What's wrong with doing things now, when I can do something else later?
What's wrong with being practical, when your reasons are not?
What's wrong with shaking it off, when you are not even open to any other suggestions?

It's a shame that you are clueless about what's happening around you.
It's hilarious to see you contradict your very own values.
It's a joke when you try to lead with both ears closed.
It's funny how you see an inverted world straight.

Sometimes I wonder why you are still clueless ...

Chapter 2.17 : Face-punch ...

Just when I thought the world got a little brighter,
the dark clouds got slightly lighter,
the whistling air got some how softer,
the trembling earth a bit quieter,
you threw me a punch right into my face ...

One, two, who would have thought it'll be you?
Three, four, I reach for the door.
Five, six, I start to feel sick.
Seven, eight, I know it's too late.
Nine, ten, on the floor I land.

How long does it take to learn,
that one could only get scaled and burnt.
There is no exception in this prediction,
that time can heal and change the conclusion.
Taking a face-punch straight in the face ...

Chapter 2.16 : The freezing cold of winter ...

In the freezing cold of winter,
where all that you see is snow,
where all that you feel is cold,
where all that you want is sold,
where all that you hear is 'no' ...

It is easy to blend when it turns warm,
the mind filled with enthusiasm,
the face radiates a genuine smile,
the senses in perfect synergy,
the people stood by you, in that time ...

It is easy to fade when it turns cold,
chaos bewilder the worn out mind,
inverted smiles hung on the unwilling face,
numbness froze the senses to a stop,
behind towering shoulders do the people now stood.

It takes one wrong to overwrite a thousand rights,
so why do we even bother to make things right?
Why struggle to maintain this fight,
when you have already lost all might?
If bonds and ties are soft and light,
wouldn't it be better if we just took flight?

There can be no light without darkness,
but it is the good that you are accustomed and want to see.
When darkness falls,
where then would you be?
Amidst the same shadow we will be,
or away until you get what you want to see?

I think the answer is clear to thee ...

Chapter 2.15 : Hyperventilate ...

Choked, strangled, and suffocating.
Pain held my heart with a strong firm grip.
Lungs filled with a dreadful sourness, heavy.
The brain swells and burns intensely.
Body gravitates to the ground, muscles tensioned.
A sudden sharp pain befalls upon my knees.
The left clenching my chest, the right resisting.
On my left I fell, resting on the graveled ground.

Like a fish out of water, struggle ...

The warm Sun faded into the proud pale Moon.
The glittering stars hid behind clueless clouds that drift by.
The winds died as an arctic mist descends from the darkened sky.
The smell of death and decay hover above the stone cold earth.

Every breathe seems more excruciating to take,
like shards of icicles pierced right into soul.
Every pulse seems more agonizing then before,
as my brain combusts every thought to ash.
Every second seems more meaningless to pass,
as the will shatters into a million fragments.

Lost in the fading memories of pain ...

In my dimming vision I saw the flashbacks that brought this upon me.
The moment I decided to be here,
the moment we first met,
the moment we got along for a while,
the moment we crossed the line that was blind,
the moment we distanced because of doubt,
the moment we understood and rest a while,
the moment we crashed head-on until I bled,
the moment we ignore to suppress the questions,
the moment we forget our existence in both our lives.

Just shove a steel knife in my windpipe and silence me.
Melt me with your acidic words that goes through me.
Aim for me instead of the dry wall and fly you send me.
Plant your painful thoughts and distort the mind in me.
Flash that sinister grin and weave your lies in front of me.
Just stand there and watch as I succumb to the sorrows in me.

Hush now, do not hold your breath,
for these memories shall not rest.
Oblivious to the situation that is before thy eyes,
ignorant to the blood that was spilled on your account.
But what is the point of being raised again,
and to be put down by you all over again.

Hyperventilate ...

Chapter 2.14 : Ticking time bomb ...

You have witnessed something that should not have seen,
somethings that no one was meant to even know of.
If only I was strong enough to keep it in,
so that none of this would not have even happened.
But I guess I can't lie to one of the three,
for which I have sworn to be absolute with.

Fading into the shadows ...

My eyes turn blind to the things around me,
losing sight of what really matters the most to me.
My ears turn deaf to the words that you have said,
hearing not the meaning that you were trying to convey.
My lips are stitched up tight together,
losing the ability to express myself to you.
My body turns numb to external pain,
while the void inside swallows me from within.
My mind turns blank and empty,
forgetting what is black and white.
My heart turns cold and heavy,
it gets so hard to even breathe.

I cannot seek your help,
I cannot speak my mind,
I cannot look you in the eye,
I cannot sense you anymore
I cannot stand beside you anymore,
I cannot drag you into this.

Because I do not want to burden you with me.

Like a jug filled out of its brim,
I cannot be filled by anymore water.
Overflowing with the pain and misery of this world,
I have to empty it before I can start filling it up again.
Who knows one day that I might shatter under the pressure,
but be assured that you will never witness that should it ever happen.

A ticking time bomb has started in me ...

The further away you are from me,
the safer you are.
Though this is the point where I feel the coldest,
I have to do what have to be done.
If that is the only way to keep you safe,
then that is where I shall leave you at.
Knowing the consequences of my actions,
I understand if I am the only one left when this is over.
I guess this is why there are only three,
maybe now two ... just give me a sign ...

Tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, boooommmmmm ...

Chapter 5.7 : The Stars and the Compass ...

They say:
'Follow your heart and you'll never be wrong'.
'Think before you decide and prevent a fall'.
'Nothing really matters, when you follow your heart'.
'Rid all feelings and emotions, and think with a clearer mind'.

My heart says 'yes', but my mind says 'no'.
My heart says 'go', but my mind says 'hold'.
My heart says 'leap', but my mind says 'don't'.
My heart says 'please', but my mind says 'fold'.

My heart's all warm, but my mind's stone cold.
My heart's accepting, but my mind's rejecting.
My heart's screaming out, but my mind's sealing in.
My heart's opening up, but my mind's shutting down.

My heart wants to inch in closer, but my mind wants to bolt off further.
My heart wants to cross that line, but my mind wants to accentuate that line.
My heart wants to feel your heart, but my mind wants to cleanse my mind.
My heart wants to know you better, but my mind wants to forget about the matter.

I say:
Maybe it's time to challenge fate for a change,
and forget about the pressure gauge.
To learn to read the Stars and the Compass,
with clear judgment in this endless confusion.

Chapter 5.6 : How can I not hesitate ...

I look left and right and all I see,
the familiar faces that are dear to me.
It's been awhile since I have seen their smile,
I wonder if it has been worth the while.

But this time, I hesitate ...

Every time I work with thee,
it seems like a happy dream.
May this moment hold for a little longer,
so that I can embrace this feeling in this wonder.

But this time, I hesitate ...

It is easy to melt into these feelings all over again,
but to reach a conclusion is such a pain.
To know that in the end that I would fold,
like a super massive black hole .

How can I not hesitant?

Chapter 2.13 : That's what you get when you let your heart win ...

What are these lines that I see,

lingering all around me.

Binding from one end to the next,

they pull and tug like there's no end.

If one wish to be free from this lines,

then why does one follow all the signs.

But they always say that we are friends,

only to find that it will all come to an end.

When the time finally comes when one truly sees,

that these lines are nothing more but deception.

The poor judgment made by the heart,

confusing all of our senseless perception.

Hopes and dreams they help you build,

destroying them heartlessly without any guilt.

Peeling your heart that you can rely on,

poisoning your mind while they look upon.

What's curious is that none of us could resist,

the temptation that they persist.

Truth and benevolent they insist,

pain and misery they assist.

Why do we like to hurt so much,

when we know that it is something that we cannot touch.

I guess that's the consequence when you let someone in,

that's what you get when your heart win ...

Chapter 8.1 : The long road ...

The journey down to the gates was a long one as usual,

always quiet and shadowed by the city's mighty Stronghold.

Rushing through them day by day with an unwilling heart,

it just seemed like any other path but with unreadable scribbles all over.

Flowers that wither and rot along the roadside,

chilling cries of sorrow that burst from these corners.

For some reason it is all clear to me now.

The unreadable scribbles carved into the walls,

turned into personal letters from one's heart.

The rotting flowers that covered the sidewalk,

tell the story of the lost souls that linger.

The chilling cries that echoed through,

reveals one's extinguishing hopes and prayers.

Dark and cold this path suddenly felt,

no life nor coin to be found.

A sense of gloom and sadness set in,

undeniably the pain of those that have suffered.

It was made by the brave warriors that defended the city,

and cherished by the ones that they related to.

But passing through them made me wiser,

the raw lessons of life were forced into me;

for I knew now all the mistakes and errors made.

Some might think it's foolishness,

but I found courage;

for I knew now how to have a glorious battle nonetheless ...

Chapter 2.12 : What now ...

What happens when the only thing that keeps you alive is lost?

What now should one react?

What now should one say?

What now should one feel?

What now should one do?

What now can one do?

A hole, an endless dark hole has been planted in me.

It draws my strength,

my emotions,

my reason,

my will,

my life.

What's there to live for now when what I needed has left?

I can't move

I can't read,

I can't think,

I can't feel,

I can't do this anymore.

It burns, so deep that it numbs.

It aches, so painful that it paralyzes.

It grips, so hard that it holds.

It clouds, so thick that it veils.

It stays, so long that it lives.

It grows, so strong that it overwhelms.

What now ... what else can I do ...

Chapter 8.0 : Horns of War ...

As I knelt before the Light in our dim-lit alter,

I made a silent prayer to the one whom we call father.

To give me strength to leave my love to fight what ever that befalls us,

to protect those whom we cherish and keep them safe we must.

I adjusted my hands back into Faith as I rose to my feet.

Adjusting my light robes as it glittered in the waning light .

Flinging my cape back with home embroidered gloriously in pure white.

Bending over to return Hope from the ice cold floor from where it laid.

A kindred soul passed it to me,

with a smile that lifts all forms of misery.

As my vision extended to the foreground,

I realized that I have found my reason.

A lover that understands me thoroughly,

and took my heart to eternity.

I have found a meaning for this reason,

to stand and fight off this senseless treason.

Slamming on my knees to catch a hug,

I caught a young life so delicate to touch.

He held me tight with his weaking arms,

trembling furiously as those crystal tears rolled past those tender cheeks.

I held his innocent face in between my hands,

and looked right into a heart of a man.

A promise, a smile, a kiss we shared,

as he slowly understood where we stand.

Embracing a hold that we deeply desired,

I rose to hold on to the love that we both inspired.

I held on to her heart, her love, her soul,

as we embraced each other with a firm hold.

We looked deep into each others eyes for a moment,

and realized that reality is something that cannot be avoided.

I took in her scent, her touch and her love for one last time,

holding on to whatever that's left and kept in deep into my mind.

Taking one last look at the ones that I hold dear,

settling down my heart as it drew tears.

A silent promise to make it back here,

to abolish and hold the ones away from fear.

Brushing the dark brown door open as the Horns of war sounded,

echoing through the hollow alleys of the City.

With a deep breathe I turned back with my warmest smile,

and left for war to face the endless vile.

Chapter 2.11 : Stupid ...

My mind's clouded with so much thoughts that it is overwhelming.

The constant barking of the people around me is just plain irritating.

Standing here at this very moment makes me feel right below.

But there is no way I can find to ripe off what I have sowed.

Just standing here makes me feel stupid while I waste my already short time limit.

They're presence slowly but surely unwinds my tightly sealed knowledge vault.

A cloud of tiredness hover all day around my weary mind.

But it is at this very moment that I notice that I might have become one of them.

I am always looking forward to the end of the day.

Looking forward to the end of this misery business and delay.

Dreaming for that hopeful day that I would awake from this dreadful nightmare.

Yearning for the moment to recover my sense from this foul dense air.

Chapter 6.32 : Forgo ...

The sky darkens as the hungry clouds swallow the glittering stars.

The fallen autumn leaves scatter like fireflies dancing through the night sky.

The scent of death linger in the ice cold wind that pierce through my body.

The Earth grumbles inconsistently as it tears its self apart.

The tears fall heavily from the concealed black sky.

Heaven's wrath roared through the sky as it illuminates how belittle we beings are.

A freezing thick fog encased the land into a blur.

Shadow s slipping from one corner to another with a hidden agenda.

Cleansed by the sea of tears,

noise being shut out, 

thoughts being blocked from the curious,

feelings being concealed from the unwelcomed.

It is at this state that one must learn,

to adapt and resist what one truly yearns.

Holding on to something and not letting go,

is something that we must eventually forgo.

Chapter 2.10 : How did we get here ...

Within this hour that we have been here,

I can see the future that is hard to peer.

An image so deep that it sears,

one could only look hopelessly in fear.

How did we get here?

This situation that we have now,

is something that is holding me down.

How I wish that I could shake this off,

but I have no power left to resist this wrath.

How did we get here?

There is no one here that I can trust,

for there is no bonds that can ever last.

There is no one that I dare rely on,

for they are merely ready to pawn.

How did we get here?

The air is very cold despite our usual runs,

there is no warmth left in the Sun.

The atmosphere is dry and suffocating,

though I wished it was always raining.

How did we get here?

Moves and skills that moves in the shadows,

blinding all those that follows.

Various banners that hang in the heavy winds,

following the echoing of the furious war drum beats.

How did we get here?

Senseless influence ordered by the imperial,

treating us like toys from a breakfast cereal.

Weak in knowledge and professionalism,

demanding respect that one does not deserve.

How did we get here?

How can the world be so heartless and low,

are we not suppose to rip what we sow?

How can anyone take this torment,

I guess that is no reason left to comment.

How did we get here?

Now is not the time to falter,

though I know that I cannot take this any longer.

For the people around me that I care most,

I have to keep my mask on and conceal what I have lost.

How did we get here?

Chapter 2.9 : It is a cold night this day ...

As I lay upon the dampened green meadows on the isolated hill top,

I caught sight of something so beautiful that no cloud could block.

The sky was clear and deep with drakness,

the land was silent and still with no witness.

The lonely Moon glowed sadly in the Heavens,

the stars glittered gently like a falling nickle.

The air was heavy and stealth with fog,

the wind was fast and cold as it whistles through the hollow logs.

It is a cold night this day, very cold ...

Where were the days when the Sun showed up in the sky,

to dry the tears of all that had cried.

Where were the clouds that rolled freely up in the sky,

to shade our faces that would run dry.

Where were the birds that flew up the in the sky,

to sing, to dance, to beautify the sky.

Where were you when I needed you most,

to know that I could never again hold you close.

The cold wind pierced right through my body,

causing numb and sorrow whenever I am lonely.

The cold wind pierced right through my heart,

causing me pain like a thousand paper cuts.

The cold wind pierced right through my soul,

causing me to ponder if I should go.

The cold wind pierced right through my life,

causing me to doubt whether I could ever survive.

It is a cold night this day, very cold ...

Chapter 1.4 : Is it just an excuse to stay close to you ...

From different worlds we have to meet,

maybe it's destiny or just plain fate.

Though at first we repel like-liked poles,

but as the sands of time slip down the hourglass,

everything changes ...

When my world turned pitch black,

you brought light that illuminated the dark.

When my fears get the better of me,

you gave me courage to persevere.

When my painful past comes haunting me,

you stood by me, assuring me that everything will be alright.

When my heart turns cold by the bitter winds of the silent night,

you held me tight, keeping me warm in the arms of  your delicate heart.

And now it is time to face the facts,

that there are thing in this world that we cannot sack.

What we had is something special,

something that I will always treasure.

An unspoken feeling that binds us as one,

but somehow we cannot stop what we have already begun.

I would follow you around the outer blocks,

just to make sure that you do not fall.

I would listen to all the hidden gossips,

just to make sure that you will not be harmed.

I would peep through that tiny window,

just to make sure that you are feeling well.

I would jump through hoops and leap over fences,

just to make sure that you are near.

Maybe it is because I want to see you safe,

or is it just an excuse to stay close to you?

The current situation is clear to thee,

that we are bound by love that creates no unfortunate scene.

Confession is something that we cannot do,

for this fragile connection might come through.

In need of your presence in my life,

we had no other choice but to lie.

To know that you are safe and sound,

to know that you will always be there right next to me.

Chapter 1.3 : Nothing more from above ...

Awakened by the gentle rays of the Sun,

there you are laying next to me.

Your sweet smile upon your angelic face,

leaves me no other choice but to stay.

Those silky long hair that lay in a file,

though messy and all I like your style.

I could lay all day just looking at you sleep,

maybe you were taking silent but harmless peeps.

As you slowly open those watery eyes,

and release that heavenly smile.

I can't help but to nudge you close,

till our vision narrowed eye to eye.

As our hearts races by the second,

our urge to hold has soon turned to touch.

Our breathe grew deep and warm,

kindling a feeling that is so dangerously pure.

Though our minds might slow the link,

but our hearts were in perfect sync.

As our vision slowly gave way to our skin,

and so our lips have sinned.

A feeling so raw that I could only give in,

maybe I didn't even want to to be seen.

Make this very moment last forever,

then I shall ask nothing more from above.

Chapter 2.8 : Grief ...

Grief, an emotion that reveals one's most vulnerable spot.

A world suddenly turned upside down.

A feeling of weakness that numbs the mind.

A vision so pain that it stops time right in its tracks.

A sense of hopelessness that seals the very soul.

A pain felt so deep within.

Like the leaves being swept by an Autumn breeze,

loosing all emotions and cherished dreams.

Drifting with the wind as it blows,

leaping forward as one rustles the Earth.

Floating on the endless streams,

drowning in the sea of dreams.

There's nothing left to wake up for,

nothing to fight for,

nothing to feel for,

nothing to sing for,

nothing to reach for,

nothing to live for.

And there you are,

lost,

down,

weak,

alone,

and in pain ...

There will be no one there for you,

no one to encourage you,

no one to talk to you,

no one to embrace you,

no one to save you,

no one but you.

Why can't we just shake it off the sand in the wind.

Why can't we just swallow it like they were food.

Why can't we just look the other way just like that.

Why can't we just jump off this train of despair.

Why can't we just reject this unfair reality.

Why can't we forget about the pain that you have felt.

Why ...

Chapter 6.31 : Lucky ...

Everybody has a greed,

to slave endless hours just to feed.

Whether it is what we truly need,

or just to sow our pleasure's seed.

But yet we forget throughout those years,

the times we spent, the sweat and tears.

That the ones we loved are just so dear,

with that in mind our thoughts are clear.

Have you seen the faces in the sky?

They wave hello and bids goodbye!

Have you really felt the wind in your hair?

The whispering of joy is in the air!

Have you seen your partner missing you?

It takes more then just 'I love you!'

Have you seen the tears of you children?

Where they are lost without you here !

These simple things are all within sight,

and yet you chose to reject the signs.

And one day when you are all alone,

there will be no one with you to bear the cold.

What is the point of earning more then you need,

when you do not have anyone to share it with?

What more prove do you need to see, 

that you are already so lucky?